As far back as I can remember, music has been a huge part of my life. Both my mom and dad loved music. My dad listened to music by Simon and Garfunkel, including Peter, Paul and Mary. He even had one of the original recordings from Woodstock. My mom listened to songs by Elton John, Neil Diamond, and John Denver. I remember getting my first cassette tape when I was ten. My dad took me to the bank with him and the song “Pretty Woman” came on and I loved it! Two days later, my dad came home with a cassette tape with the song “Pretty Woman” on it. This started my music collection.
Then at age 16 I was placed on dialysis. Music helped bring me comfort and inspiration. I was very pain-sensitive and hated having my blood drawn. So my parents got me my first CD player. I put on headphones and listened to music to zone out during those times. I started to search for songs with a positive message or lyrics to help inspire me to keep going, such as “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips, which reminded me things could change. “A Little Bit Longer” by Nick Jonas told me I’ll be fine. “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus helped encourage me to not give up.
But then I needed a song to help me get through one of the hardest times in my life.
I was at the dialysis unit and was hooked up to the machine. I received a phone call from University of California San Francisco (UCSF). The person on the phone told me the transplant team had decided to take me off the transplant list because my heart was not strong enough to handle the surgery. It was recommended that I have a heart and kidney transplant. I hung up the phone and was in shock. I turned to my playlist of music to find something to inspire me to take on this new medical challenge I would be facing. I found nothing outside of “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” by Tony Bennett. Which definitely wasn’t helpful at this moment!
My dialysis nurse came to me and asked how I was doing. I put on a brave face and said I’m okay, just can’t wait to get off the machine. My nurse looked at me and said, “Jenn, we know what’s going on.” I burst into tears. I didn’t know how I was going to get through this. Another nurse who had just gotten off duty came and sat by me for the rest of my treatment. She reassured me that I could do this and that everyone here would support me.
After my treatment was finished, I drove straight to my mom’s house. I needed a hug and to be around my family. A few hours later I decided to drive home. I got in my car and put on the radio as I normally would. I was about halfway home and a new song came on that I had never heard before. Once I got home, I had to look this song up. The song was called “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten. This was exactly what I needed!
About a month later, I started being tested for a heart transplant. I had to go through so many difficult tests. The transplant team tested my lung capacity by having me pretend to blow a candle out. They asked me to keep blowing until I could no longer feel the air leaving my mouth. I also needed a stress test on a treadmill. The nurses connected me to many wires and had me wear an odd-looking face mask. If I felt scared or thought I couldn’t get through this, I put on the “Fight Song.” It became my anthem throughout the time I tested for a heart transplant.
In the end, I did not need a heart transplant. The test results showed my heart was just good enough to be able to handle the surgery for a kidney transplant.
The “Fight Song” continues to be my anthem to this day. Not only for any medical challenges that I may face in the future but also as I advocate for the kidney community. To quote a line from the “Fight Song”: “Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.”
Lea la versión en español de este ensayo aquí.
Stay tuned for the audio version of Turning Music into Triumphs, read by the author Jennifer McClung:
Jennifer McClung was 16 1/2 when she was diagnosed with end-stage kidney failure. She went from having what was believed to be a bad case of the flu to being told her kidneys had failed and placed on dialysis in less than a month. Jennifer did dialysis for over 17 years. She did peritoneal dialysis for just over 14 years and then was switched over to hemodialysis for 3 more years. She finally received her kidney transplant in Dec 2015.
Jennifer is now a kidney advocate. She uses her voice to educate the public about their kidneys, encourages people to be organ donors, and speaks to legislators in Washington D.C about bills and laws that need to be passed to help the kidney community. She also uses her story to inspire others that with a positive mindset and a bit of humor, they can get through whatever challenges they may face.
Web ID 5099