In the quiet hours of the night, when the world outside slept, I found solace in the familiar rhythms of my home dialysis routine. For two years now, my life had revolved around the gentle hum of the machine, the beeping alarms, and the sterile smell of the medical equipment. Chronic kidney disease had barged into my life uninvited, demanding attention and reshaping my days.
Each evening, I settled into my routine. I would meticulously prepare the dialysis machine, checking and rechecking the connections, ensuring everything was just right. The process was painstaking but necessary, a lifeline that kept me going when my own kidneys could not.
But amidst the clinical precision and the steady whirring of the machine, I found respite in an unexpected place: the classic episodes of “I Love Lucy.” The old black-and-white sitcom had become my nightly companion, a source of laughter and warmth that cut through the monotony of my treatment.
I had discovered the show when I was a young girl during one restless night, flipping through channels in search of something to distract me from the tedium of dialysis. The antics of Lucy Ricardo, the quirky redhead with a penchant for mischief, drew me in immediately. There was something timeless about the humor, the slapstick comedy, and the endearing relationships portrayed on screen.
As I settled into my chair, the soft glow of the TV casting shadows on the walls, I found myself transported to a different era. The laughter that echoed through my small room drowned out the mechanical sounds of the treatment. For those precious moments, I wasn’t a patient tethered to a machine; I was simply someone enjoying a good show.
Night after night, I eagerly awaited my rendezvous with Lucy Ricardo and her escapades. Whether it was Lucy getting into yet another harebrained scheme or Ricky’s exasperated but loving reactions, each episode brought a smile to my face. The simplicity of the humor and the genuine camaraderie of the characters created a comforting familiarity that eased the weight of my illness.
Through the ups and downs of my health, I found strength in the resilience of the characters I had come to love. Their antics became a reminder that life, despite its challenges, could still be filled with laughter and unexpected moments of joy.
One particular episode stands out in my memory. It was an episode where Lucy Ricardo, in her relentless pursuit of fame and fortune, found herself inadvertently causing chaos in a television studio. As I watched, I couldn’t help but see parallels to my own life—striving for normalcy amidst the unpredictability of illness, occasionally stumbling but always persevering.
But it wasn’t just the humor that touched my heart; it was the love story between Lucy and Ricky Ricardo that resonated deeply with me. Their on-screen chemistry, their playful banter, and their unwavering support for each other mirrored the kind of love and companionship I myself yearned for, especially in the midst of my health struggles.
As the months passed, my appreciation for “I Love Lucy” grew into something more profound. The show became a lifeline—not just a distraction, but a source of comfort and inspiration. It reminded me that even in the darkest of times, there were moments of light and laughter waiting to be discovered.
One evening, after a particularly challenging day of dialysis, I found myself rewatching my favorite episode. The familiar jokes and familiar faces wrapped around me like a warm blanket, soothing my tired spirit. And then, something unexpected happened.
In the final moments of the episode, as Lucy Ricardo and Ricky shared a tender moment, I felt a tear slip down my cheek. It wasn’t sadness, but a profound sense of gratitude—for the show that had brought me so much joy, for the strength it had given me to face each day with renewed determination, and for the reminder that beauty could be found even in the most unlikely places.
That night, as I turned off the dialysis machine and settled into bed, I carried with me a newfound sense of peace. The echoes of laughter from “I Love Lucy” lingered in my mind, filling the quiet corners of my room with warmth. Despite the challenges I faced, I knew that as long as I had laughter and love, I could weather any storm.
And so, with the gentle rhythm of my own heartbeat and the echoes of Lucy Ricardo’s infectious laughter still ringing in my ears, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, grateful for the reprieve that “I Love Lucy” had given me and for the beautiful moments it had brought into my life.
Lea la versión en español de este ensayo aquí.
Listen to the audio version of This is What Brings I Love Lucy, read by the author Chelsea Roman:
Chelsea Roman is a previous solo home hemodialysis patient and self-described #dialysiswarrior who has dealt with kidney disease her entire life. Over the past few years, she has become a proactive source of information, hope, and inspiration for others who battle kidney disease and are looking for ways to live a healthier, more fulfilling life. Her sense of humor, positive outlook and never-quit attitude are contagious and uplifting. Chelsea took the time to talk with anyone and everyone about her journey. Chelsea was transplanted in November 2019 at UC Davis Medical Center in Sacramento, California, in which she is forever grateful for.
More Essays by Chelsea Roman:
Heroes Come in Many Different Forms, Honorable Mention, 19th Annual Essay Contest
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